Traci’s Surrender Story (Traci with an i, not a y!)
In October 2016 Traci attended her first Dr. Joe Dispenza Advanced Meditation Retreat at the Breathless Resort in Cancun Mexico. This event is where she had her first deeply transformative experience relating to surrender.
The deep interconnectedness of all things unfolded for her as she was enjoying a walking meditation along the beach. At the end of the meditation as she stood watching the sun rise up over the ocean a long-time friend walked by. Traci saw her friend encased in a silk wrap dancing by flying like a butterfly. As her friend’s wrap came up and caught the sun, Traci had an instantaneous insight and a download of information. The vision unpacked itself and she immediately saw how each little thing that we do has an impact on other peoples’ lives which in turn impacts even more lives. She instantly saw the ripple effect of when she first handed her friend the piece of paper with Dr. Joe Dispenza’s name on it, how her friend was now here at this retreat with her and her friend had brought two of her other friends.
Traci saw how a drop of water in the ocean of life actually contributes and shifts other peoples’ lives and how it flows out infinitely to generations to come. She saw how the work she had done with a young teen impacted not only the teen, but her sister’s life and now the child of that once teen and now amazing woman. It became clear how when you do something kind, caring and from the heart for one person, on one day, you don’t really know how it is going to shift or impact their life and lives to come.
Flashes of insight from all different aspects of her life downloaded one after another in rapid succession. The awareness of how one choice, one word, or one simple little gesture can impact a life and shift so many other lives surrounding that one person.
She remembers all of this information infused with the beauty of the rising sun and the immense power of love. As Traci watched the sun rise, she let herself feel and be immersed in a love which was greater than anything she had ever experienced up until that time. She basked in the overpowering sensation of love and surrendered into the feeling of that moment. Traci sat for some time afterwards in order to take in and process the enormity of this occurrence.
The day after the workshop ended Traci walked along the beach feeling a little frustrated around a few things and was actually mentally beating herself up a little bit. As she was meeting some friends to walk over to breakfast, someone from a balcony above looked down on Traci. A feeling so deeply horrible hit Traci, one she couldn’t even put into words, but could feel deep inside her body. As she sat with her friends one of them explained what the feeling of shame was. Tears and big emotions began to well up inside Traci’s body, so much so, she couldn’t even comprehend on how to handle or process them in the moment. She excused herself and went back to her room and cried for almost 45 minutes, it was the deepest cry she had ever experienced. She couldn’t comprehend the depths of where it came from. She let herself surrender and unfold into the emotions as unconscious feelings from her childhood arose and released as she cried.
After it was over her roommate comforted her and presented Traci with a beautiful handmade blue butterfly from the workshop. Traci saw how butterflies are symbols of transformation and was able to receive it right after this breakthrough. The people selling the butterflies selected the one to give to the person purchasing it. Traci’s butterfly was the exact shape and color as the one on her business logo. The synchronicities of life again began to unfold in that moment.
That night was Halloween and she did her annual “Wheel of the Year” ritual. The message for the upcoming year surrounded the crumbling of the old and the rebuilding of the new. A card jumped out of the deck while she was creating her “wheel,” it was the card “Release,” with the meaning “the end of a phase situation, time to move on, great spiritual insights and transformations.” More signs!
The next morning, she and her roommate went on a local Mayan tour. On the tour bus in the in the seat adjacent to them she spotted a man who had a tattoo across his chest which was partially hidden by his tank top. She kept getting the urge to inquire about what the tattoo said. As they disembarked for lunch, she finally asked him. The man pulled down his shirt and the tattoo read “with death comes rebirth.”
All the synchronicities, surrendering, and transformations that occurred during the workshop hit her in an instant and her life changed forever. She could not possibly walk back into her life as the same person. One of Traci’s original intentions for the weeklong event was “abundance” which came to her in a flood of harmonious ways upon her return home. And they continue to unfold!
Light Channel, Synesthesia Artist
Making the Invisible Visible.
